The Summation of a College Career

It's been a really long time since I blogged and I'm pretty sad about it. Let's just say I had writer's block for like...6 months. I felt like I wrote everything about running that I could. I still don't have a list of ideas, but I have been reflecting on my collegiate runner career a lot recently.

As of May 12th, 2012 I was officially finished competing as a collegiate runner. It still hasn't fully hit me that I am done with something that I have been participating in for 10 years of my life. Yes, I will still run, I may even join a local club running team, but competing as I know it will never be the same. I'm not complaining nor I am feeling sorry for myself. These are just the facts. I know when fall comes around and everyone else is starting school and going to XC camp and running the first race I will probably have a melt-down and really freak out. But for now I will continue my summer training and try to forget that I'm done. I have always been one that is ready to move on with my life when the time comes. In 6th grade I couldn't wait for middle school. In 9th grade I acted like I already was in high school. And by the end of my sophomore year of high school I was already wishing I was in college. But now that I'm done with college....I'm not really sure what I am supposed to be looking forward to! Definitely not ready for kids yet, and I haven't applied to physical therapy school yet either so I am just a bum on the street working and running and feeling in limbo.

But! This blog is about running, not about my up-in-the-air life. Its been 2 weeks since I ran my last track meet. I took 8 days off: no running, no exercise, no nothing. I was going crazy. I get super antsy and anxious when I don't work out, so this week I've been back at it. Cross-training and running. I've tried to put my last track meet out of my mind. I really sucked it up :( They say if you want something bad enough, if you dream it hard enough, that it will happen. Well, I think that's a load of crap. Cuz I definitely wanted more than anything to end my career on at least a good note if not an awesome bang! No such luck for me. Its okay, I've learned not to let one race define my life or who I am, but trust me, it still sucks. I once wrote a post when I had an insane dose of wisdom fall upon me. In it I wrote,

"The race isn't over when you cross the finish line. The race is never over, it is only a stepping stone on your climb up the mountain. You must use every race, every run, as a learning experience; you must get stronger with every success and every failure."

What I could learn from listening to my own advice! Fortunately I have an awesome friend who also offered me words of wisdom when I shared my disappointing performance with her. She reminded me that my contributions to the team were much farther reaching than 2 crappy races my last weekend as a college athlete. There is more to being on a team than racing well. There is the camaraderie, the sportsmanship, the hours of agonizing workouts, the bonds that form when you go through struggles with each other, the example I have been to others. She helped me take a step back and remember 4 years of running, not 24 hours of it. I have been reflecting back on my four years and realizing how much I have grown and changed since I started.

2009: I could not jump over that barrier...

2012: Steeple pro. 

I think these two pictures depict quite the change. Not only could I not jump that barrier the first 20 times I tried, I had many other running barriers I hadn't learned to overcome yet. Now, four years later there I am jumping that barrier like nobody's business. Okay, not quite, I still have terrible form, but it wasn't such a barrier to me anymore. More like a stepping block to help me over that water. So it was with many things in my running. I learned to overcome the mental barriers that held me back from being a good distance runner (anything longer than 800m killed me my freshman year). I learned to embrace pain instead of resist it. Of course running is going to hurt a little bit. But instead of backing off, just accept that pain and deal with it. It doesn't get worse. It stays the same. Like the steeple barrier, it can be something that stops you, or it can be something that you use to your advantage. You need to find the barriers you have in your life and turn them in to a stepping block to clear that pit of water. 

I also learned how to have fun. Running used to be so serious to me! Which I thought was fun, and I did enjoy it, but I think I took it way too seriously. Bad races and workouts were devastating to me. As I matured as a runner and person I learned that a race is just a race and the more fun I have doing it the better I usually do. I love that pictures can capture these emotions so well.

Notice: Top picture-teammates, smiling. Me, not smiling, not paying attention, totally focused and freaked out. Bottom picture-all laughing and having fun.

I have blabbed enough. I am going to let my pictures to the rest of the talking. These are some of my favorite memories from the past four years. I know that although this chapter in my life is over, I have many new and probably just as exciting experiences to come. I will never stop running. Running makes up the person I am.

the race that changed my life. Read about it here

The first and maybe only race I ever won.

Thank you UVU for the best four years of my life so far!

What Running Has Taught Me

Running is more than a form of exercise. It is a way of life. There is something about running that breaks down your walls and leaves you raw, vulnerable. There is something about running that teaches you, that shapes you into who you are. Running makes you strong. I've said it before, but running and I have had a rocky relationship in the past. But I've always come back to it. I can't give it up. Its not an option. So, over my many years of running, I've definitely learned a few things. Running is like life in so many ways.

The race isn't over when you cross the finish line. The race is never over, it is only a stepping stone on your climb up the mountain. You must use every race, every run, as a learning experience; you must get stronger with every success and every failure.

Running teaches you a hard work ethic. I had an employer say to me once that they would hire anyone who was a distance runner because of the mentality and hard work it takes to subject your body to something hard for so long.

It doesn't matter if you walk or run. As long as you are moving, you are still getting closer to your goal. It is only when you stop and stand there that you aren't getting anywhere.

You cannot base your self-worth as a runner or as a person on people around you. Life, like running, is a personal journey. It is up to you to write your own story. Trying to be like somebody else will only fail you in the end. You must run for YOU. You have to find that passion deep inside yourself and then, only then will you become successful. And success is relative to each individual person.

You can always do more than you think you can. It is so cliche writing this, I'm almost embarrassed to, but if you believe in yourself, you really can do it. Seriously. I never believed I could run a 5 minute mile. But I did. I never believed I could break 18 minutes in a 5k, but I did. I never believed I could finish THAT workout, but I did. Hard things in life are not going to kill you. You ARE going to make it through. NEVER GIVE UP

Weaknesses don't have to determine who you are. They don't have to slow you down. You don't have to give in to your weaknesses. It is about learning how to turn your weaknesses into strengths. When you aren't good at something, practice it. So you suck at hills? Do hill repeats. So you aren't good at meeting new people? Force yourself into a situation where you have to. Things get easier.

It is NECESSARY to have fun doing what you do. There is always something good about anything. It may be hard to find, but focusing on the good things will help you enjoy your tasks. Sometimes you need to adjust your perspective or focus. If you aren't having fun, you are wasting your life. You have to learn how to find the good in the things you hate.

Most of all what I've learned from running is that you will have bad days and you will have good days. You cannot let the bad days define or determine your attitude. The past is over and there is nothing you can do to change it. Instead, focus on what you can do now to become what you want to be.

What have you learned from running? Take a moment and think about it; a little personal reflection is good for you

Running Spotlight: Interview with Mary Ann Schauerhamer: Overcoming Discouragement

Discouragement and burnout. Those two words are the black plague of running. The very bottom of the pit of despair. But every runner experiences those feelings. How do you overcome them? How do you motivate yourself when the last thing you want to do is run? I interviewed elite distance runner Mary Ann Schauerhamer and she gave some great insight.

Mary Ann Schauerhamer is currently a member of the Utah Elite team, a new team sponsored by 26.2 Running Company. She started running competitively in 5th grade.She broke the Nevada state record twice in the 3200m (two-mile) in high school. She then accepted a full ride scholarship to run for Southern Utah University where she broke many school records as well. She still holds their steeplechase record. After college she moved to Provo where she competed in the steeplechase at USA Nationals, placing 21st! She continues to race and win, always training and looking for the next challenge.

Here is her advice for overcoming discouragement and burnout in running, and also advice on how to stay motivated:

"I have lofty running goals and if I don’t feel like working out I imagine myself winning a big race and that helps me to get excited again. I also draw motivation from hearing about and seeing other people’s running successes. I try to stay involved in the racing scene and keep myself current with who is running well and winning big races and I try to associate myself with successful runners who are encouraging and get advice from them. I really want to become a professional runner, because it is a job where I will get respect from people and freedom to do what I want and not have to work for a mean boss! I want to make my parents happy and prove to all those who have told me that I don't have what it takes that I can accomplish anything I want. I think I could help out my family with their financial struggles if I can become an Olympian. I also don't want to give up because I have something to prove to some people who have tried to get me discouraged about running. I also want to have a good physique because I hate the look of fat and lack of tone and I want to be attractive and be healthy and have a long life. I also depend of exercise to boost my mood and refresh myself mentally and physically. If I don't exercise I start to feel down and anxious, but when I do I feel happy and invigorated and can face tedious tasks.

I get discouraged often in running, but I don't give up. I see so many others give up because they aren't the best anymore and I don't want to be like them. I don't have to always succeed or always make steady progress to believe I can reach my goals. I think it's ridiculous and overly prideful to refuse to run unless you are the best. I don't care what other people think that much. It's my life, not theirs, and I think that continuing to try to improve even when I'm not the best will help me to succeed in the long term. Those people who will only compete when they are the best often never compete again and it's sad. I learn a lot from my failures, too, so I'm not too afraid to fail. I get a great workout with great runners in races even if I don't win, so they aren't a waste. I also learn the courses and learn about my competition by competing often with them, which helps me the next time I come to the same race or if I see the same competition in another race.

When I get discouraged about my running, I overcome it by coming up with a plan to try to ensure that the failure won't happen again. I try not to dwell on my failure and try to look forward and not backwards. I try to think about my next race and imagine myself winning it and how happy I will feel when it happens. I list all the ways that I have improved my lifestyle and running so that I see all my progress and try to focus on my improvement and tell myself to just take it one step at a time. I think about how many people have given up and I think how at least I am still putting myself in the "boxing ring." I tell myself compliments on how tough I am and brave and imagine myself faster than the fastest guys in Utah and imagine myself ripped and muscular and lean and it helps me to not focus on my current state.

I have become burnt out once, to the point where I couldn't make myself run fast even though physically I was capable, but mentally I couldn't make myself do it. It was during the summer during my college running years. I had put so much pressure on myself that I became very rigid in what I expected from myself, and I tried to make myself stick to a really boring running route and routine.

I have learned from that and refuse to become burnt out again. I guess once you hit rock bottom you realize how awful it is and don't want to get to that point again. I think being burnt out is kind of like being tired of doing something. Running is a very repetitive activity like many other activities in life, and I guess it's fun to show to others that I don't get burnt out and that I am always excited because I like people to think of me as an energetic, tough person who will never quit. Running is a way of expressing myself and I like to tell others through my running that I am unique because I am a highly dedicated person who is also very passionate about what I set my heart to. If I start to put too much pressure on myself and I feel like I'm bordering on burn out I tell myself that at least I'm running while others are sitting around being sedentary and not even trying. I try to focus on how fit and beautiful I am becoming by running or something else if I feel too tired to push myself hard enough to reach my bigger goals until I feel like I can face my bigger goals again."

Thanks for the great interview Mary Ann!

The Devil Inside Your Head

If you want to overcome the voice in your head that tells you  "you can't", you must find the voice inside your heart

Every one of us must battle against ourselves, against that voice in your head that tells you to stop, you are too tired, you can't do it. But you can. There is always more left in you. You just have to learn how to access that power. To learn to access that reservoir of strength deep inside your soul, you must overcome the fear of pain. Fear is what keeps you from pushing yourself past that limit. But you have the ability to overcome fear. Will is the greatest power in the universe (k, I stole that from Green Lantern, which is a great movie btw).

If you can master your will, you can master control of your mind. It is one of the hardest things to do. I know. You have to learn to trust in your training and trust in your body.

When you can let everything go in a race and kind of 'tune out' and just run that is when you will have your best races. Stop over-thinking. When you analyze every single thought and every single move, you are thinking way too much. Stop thinking about how much your body hurts. Stop thinking about how many people have passed you. Stop thinking about if your hair looks cute (admit it, you've had this thought in a race before). Instead, focus on the moment. Focus on your breathing. Focus on how strong you are. Focus on how exhilarating each moment is. Focus on your strengths.

Push that voice inside your head aside and be the stronger person. Overcome the doubt and fear you have. It takes practice and it takes courage. Its something you must practice on every single training run. 

Courage isn't being fearless, it is having the strength to overcome fear

How do you overcome that voice in your head?

When You Can't Take Even One More Step

Today I've had writer's block. There's millions of things I could write about. But none of the ideas I had seemed to want to form themselves into words that would be interesting to read. So after much contemplation and a little bit of physics homework I decided what I needed best right now was a good inspiring story.

I don't really have all that much of an inspiring story about myself, but I did a little research and this story really stuck out to me. I searched and searched for a good story and this one did it for me. It might have even made my eyes a bit watery.

Heart doesn't just come from the elite athletes, the college runners, the Olympic medalists. Heart comes from YOU.

The following is a short description of the incredible finish at the Leadville 100 mile trail race:
            by Keith Woestehoff:

There are certain moments in sports where time seems to stand still and the impossible becomes reality. Those moments make us cheer and they make us cry. They are so special and so rare that we never forget them. For me, the list includes the immaculate reception, Bob Beamon's long jump in the Mexico Olympics and Kordell Stewart's miracle in Michigan. but this weekend, I witnessed another unforgettable finish which must be added to this short list. The setting was not in a high profile sport. It did not include a millionaire athlete and you won't be able to see reruns of the event on sports center. But the impact was felt at the bottom of everyone's heart who witnessed it. The names are unknown as I write this but the passions and emotions and the love are real.

The event was the Leadville trail 100, an extremely tough 100 mile foot race through the heart of the Rocky Mountains. The racers must deal with long climbs, steep descents, rocky trails, stream crossings, a sleepless night, high altitude and a 30 hour time limit.

As the 30 hour time limit approached, more than half of all runners had dropped out from exhaustion or injury. The winner had already crossed the finish line 11 hours earlier. But now the crowd was much larger to watch the drama of the remaining racers struggling to reach the finish line before the final gun.

The excitement seemed to start when a man crossed the line for his first successful finish after 6 failures in previous years. He received a champagne shower from his friends and family.

With 9 minutes before the final gun, a woman was staggering up 6th avenue to the finish. Her eyes were glazed, her legs were stiff and she wobbled and staggered from side to side. She was having a hard time keeping her balance. The cutoff was not a problem, but everyone could tell she was in real danger of collapsing before reaching her goal. Everyone held their breath as she staggered those last final steps, finally collapsing as she broke the ribbon. She was then carried to the medical tent.

For the next few minutes, more runners crossed the finish line, hearing the cheers of the crowd and then celebrating with their family and friends. Then, the nearly 1/2 mile view up 6th avenue showed no more runners. It became quiet. We started to wonder if there were any other runners who would know the joy of reaching the finish line before the final cutoff. The race announcer said "3 minutes left". Still, no more racers in sight. Suddenly, a racer and his pacer appeared at the top of hill. The announcer broadcast his number and his family and friends ran down the street toward him to see what they could do to help.
 
I honestly didn't think he could finish on time. He had at least 200 yards of downhill and then 300 yards of uphill to the finish. He would have to run the whole thing and after 100 miles of heaven and hell, I didn't think he could run up that final hill. As he was running slowly down the hill, you could see his family and friends running towards him. They were too far away to hear what they were saying but it was obvious they were telling him to hurry. Instantly, he started to run faster and it was obvious that everyone was frantic. If everything went well, there was a small chance he could make it but the odds were against him. As he was nearing the bottom of the hill, suddenly another racer appeared at the top of the hill. Again we see family and friends rushing to a new racer. But, he had no chance, he had too far to go and not enough time. Another person would have their heart broken on 6th ave with the finish line in sight.

As the 1st racer reached the bottom of the hill, we knew this would be his moment of truth. Could he run it? As each second passed, I kept waiting for him to stop but he kept running. People started running out of the stands and off the sidewalks to form a human tunnel for him to run through. Everyone was yelling "go, go". As he reached the tunnel, we were hoping the final gun wouldn't sound. He sprinted the last 20 yards and fell through the tape, doing a face plant into the red carpet. Medical people ran to help him. the race official was standing nearby, looking at the race clock and the gun pointed to the sky. Everyone was worried about the condition of the fallen racer and then I glanced back and saw the 2nd racer putting on an unbelievable charge. Someone forgot to tell him he couldn't make it. There were people on both sides of him holding a ski pole in front of him. He was holding onto it and they were trying to drag him up the hill. The human tunnel scattered to give them room. The gun was going to be fired at any second. Go, go, go came the cheers. He broke the ribbon and as he was crashing to the red carpet, the gun sounded. He didn't move. The medical staff, who just barely had time to help the previous racer sit up, were rushing to the final finisher. The cheers suddenly turned to silence as he was surrounded by the medical staff and family. With each second, our fears for his safety grew and grew. And then after what seemed like an eternity, we see a hand come up from the mass of humanity and a finger pointed to the sky. Everybody started cheering and most were also crying.

After he had time to recuperate, I introduced myself and talked to him. I told him that I knew how he felt since I finished next to last the previous year. But in all honesty, my 3 min 33 second margin was an eternity compared to his official finish time of 29:59:58. I told him that what he did was better than taking 1st place and he would remember it for the rest of his life. His final charge up the hill was an incredible display of courage and determination. It was as impressive as anything I've ever seen in the world of sports. It doesn't get any better.
 
I looked back up 6th ave. There were no more racers on the course. This year, there would be no broken hearts with the finish in sight.

The last 2 racers had 2 of the shortest margins ever in the history of the Leadville trail 100. They trained hard and made many sacrifices before racing for 100 miles and giving every ounce of energy they had. There were no cash prizes and fame and fortune will elude them. They did it simply for the love of the sport.

There is a heart that beats strongly in the world of sports. the heart won't be found in the boardroom of an NCAA meeting or in the Olympics or in the Superbowl. but it will be found in a neighborhood playground with children who have boundless dreams playing a pickup game with a tattered ball. it will be found in backyards with fathers and sons playing catch football. and it will be found with a weekend warrior, who in many ways is just like you and I, lying on the red carpet in Leadville with his arm raised and his finger pointed to the sky.

I did not write this story, I found it here  
http://www.runningforums.com/one_of_my_favorite_motivational_stories___t34543.html

When you are struggling, when you don't think you can put one foot in front of the other even one more time, when you are so discouraged giving up is the only option....think about this. The odds were against these two competitors. They had run 99.9 miles only to be staring at the finish line while everyone wondered if they could make it. But they didn't run 99.9 miles only to stop there. They finished when they couldn't even move another step. Are you going to give up? Are you going to go all that way, whether it be 3 miles or 100, only to give up?

It's a Hill, Get Over It!

Love hills and they will love you back

I took a good friend on a trail run today. Its a gorgeous trail with an amazing view. What I forgot to tell her was the mile and a half climb to get to the nice flat easy part. As she struggled up the hill, cursing my name with every step I'm sure, I got thinking. How can I make running hills easier? What is it about running hills that is so different than just running in a flat neighborhood?

Hills are a totally different beast than running flat. There's adjustments your body needs to make. You have to change your stride, your mindset. Hills are intimidating. But they don't have to be.

Uphill
You have to shorten your stride and take tiny little baby steps. One foot in front of the other, that's all it takes. Short and quick, short and quick. My coach yells that at us over and over. Short and quick! But it helps so much. Before you know it, you'll suddenly be at the top!

A common mistake many runners make is to stop as soon as they get to the top of a hill. Its fine to stop if you need to catch your breath, but put in a quick surge at the top before you stop. This will teach your body to keep going after you feel like you've given it your all. It will also give you a huge advantage in races. You'll blow the competition out of the water with just a short surge right before the crest of a hill. Mentally it's incredible for your psyche to push past that hard point, and for your competition it crushes their psyche!

Some hills are huge. They are daunting. It looks like they go on forever. But the view at the top is going to be so worth it! Don't let hills intimidate you. Tell yourself "I am good at hills. I am going to kill this hill. I am strong." This mantra is what really helped me in the race that changed my life. When I got to the hills, I had practiced telling myself how good I was at them, and when the time came to race on them..I dominated them. I crushed those hills into the ground! You be in control of the hill, don't let it be in control of you. Attack the hill. Attack it like nobody's business. I'm not saying sprint up the hill. You'll tucker out in 2 seconds. But attack it with confidence. And if you have to walk, its OK.

Downhill
Let gravity pull you down the hill. Don't slow yourself down, this is an easy way to get shin splints. That being said, don't let gravity cause you to run out of control down the hill either. Try and find a nice balance between putting on the brakes and letting yourself go.


Next time you look up and see that daunting hill in front of you what are you going to think? I hope its something along the lines of "I've got you where I want you, now I'm going to SMASH you!" and then you laugh evilly to yourself and dominate those hills.

Why I Run

Running is one of those things when you tell someone you like to run they look at you like you're crazy. You probably are. Distance running is something that takes a certain amount of insanity. It's what makes it so addictive. Running is an addiction there's no doubt. There's something about your feet hitting the pavement as the sun rises, the sound of your breath mixed with birds chirping, the dust rising with each step as you push your way up the mountain.... There's something about running that nothing in the world can replace. There's this feeling you get at the top of a hill when you look back and think to yourself "I just rocked that hill! Take that!", the feeling at the finish line when your emotions are crazy and you don't know whether to laugh or to cry.

Running gives you a sense of accomplishment. Whether you just accomplished your first three mile run, or you just qualified for the Boston marathon, running is about YOU and what your body can do. No one can take away the feelings and confidence that running can give you. Running is my love, my passion, my obsession and my drug. I love to run. I love running when its just a short 30 minute shake-out run. I love running when its a 6-mile tempo. I love running when I look outside and the temperature reads 2*F but I'm in the middle of training season so I bundle up and head out anyway.

I don't know where I would be if I could not run. But I didn't always love it this much. It's a love/hate relationship. It's something that will grow and become a part of you. So don't give up if you hate it, or if there's some days where you just can't get your butt out the door. Some days are just like that. I've had my share of sitting on my front steps dressed and ready to run...but somehow just stuck. But if you can push past that annoying voice in your head and take those first steps, you will not regret it.

I run because it's the time that I make friends with myself, I learn about who I am. I run because it's a place and time where the world melts away and all that is alive is me and the sound of my breath. I run because its Who I Am.

Why do you run?